She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
