Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
