Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
