she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
