Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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