It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
