My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Drunk walkin through police station. America
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
