OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize