He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
