I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
