What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
