Sponge bath it is.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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