And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm passing your future prison.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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