I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
