We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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