it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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