Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
