you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
