im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
