Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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