I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
