jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
