do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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