is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
