I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
