if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
