i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
