This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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