She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
