i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
