I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
