if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
