Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
