My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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