I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
