he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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