On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
