I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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