You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
