WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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