Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
