just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
