I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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