absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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