my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
