no, he came in my armpit
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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