Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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