He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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