I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
