So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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