I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
